Monday, February 02, 2009

The NBC New York 11 o'clock news has reported an earthquake in north-central New Jersey this evening. While they also noted that the earthquake had been confirmed by the U.S. Geologic Survey, an 'eyewitness' caller, former of California and now living in NJ, said the earthquake was like nothing he ever experienced on the west coast. The caller said that instead of the rolling shocks prevalent in California earthquakes, this phenomenon consisted of one abrupt shock to the upper floor of his house, accompanied by a loud, explosive sound from outside. Attempts by the authorities to cover this up aside, you and I both know that a UFO has crash-landed in NJ tonight. And no, this hypothesis has nothing to do with the fact that I recently picked up several volumes of "The X-Files Mythology Collection" on DVD at a deep discount, after Christmas sale at FYE. Even now, Lovecraftian terrors are boiling up out of fissures in the Ramapo Mountains to rescue the downed interstellar aviators.

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